Vocal Point’s “I’ll Be Missing You” is one of the few performances that brings tears to my eyes. It’s not technically the best, since there are some pitch issues, but that’s really understandable since the lead singer’s father passed away before the performance and this song was sung as a tribute to him.

The song made me think about the people I had lost, especially my grandfather. He passed away while I was still in primary school, and because I was still young then, I don’t have many memories of him. But what I remember was how he would look for me after church to pass me the toys he had bought for me. My parents would always ask him not to go to the expense, but he still bought them anyway. They were the cheaper kind that you could buy at provision shops back then, but I nevertheless liked them because he picked them out for me. I still remember his smile and how happy he was to pass me the toys…

My grandfather’s health had always been fine, and no one would have expected him to leave us so soon. But (assuming that my memory doesn’t fail me here) one day, he fell when he went out to buy bread. He hit his head in the process and was hospitalised. The injury didn’t seem too bad though and his condition was improving, but one day, things suddenly took a turn for the worse. He was admitted into the ICU, and I remember heading down to the hospital with my family, and waiting while my parents went in to visit my grandfather. They wouldn’t let me see him though, since he had tubes stuck into him and they were worried that I would be scared by the sight of it. That was the very last thing I remember before he passed away just like that.

I only saw my grandfather on Sundays, and even then it was just for a short while. But even though we were not close, and didn’t communicate that much, he’s the one I miss the most out of all my grandparents who have passed. There’s just something about the joy he had seeing us, and the warmth that surrounded him and will always stay with me. Most of the toys have since been broken or given away, but I still have 2 small figurines coming from a particular set of toys he gave me that I can’t bear to part with just yet – they’re a reminder of how he loved buying toys for me.

(峯岸みなみ – 私は私 / Minegishi Minami – I am me)

The road I’m walking on now is the one I wished for before.
But I hate the me that becomes worried just from the wind blowing slightly.

The dream I saw back then still shines radiantly.
Without any doubt, I believed in the distant future.

Why are my tears welling up and overflowing?
I know that I’m blessed with happiness.
I won’t be able to walk anymore if I stop now,
So I’ll persist and keep walking.

The friends who started together with me are always walking ahead.
When I can’t see their backs, I think that I’m slow-footed.

The destinations we aim for and our speeds are different,
But there are times when I’m frustrated and irritated that I seem to be losing.

I am me, aren’t I?
I’m alright.
I only said that I want to behave a little like a spoiled child to someone.
Though I’m always laughing and behaving cheerfully,
I’m weak just like everyone else.

Why are my tears welling up and overflowing?
I know that I’m blessed with happiness.
I won’t be able to walk anymore if I stop now,
So I’ll persist and keep walking.

I am me, aren’t I?
No matter who I am…
People live by their own pace.
I’ll definitely find the path that only I can walk on.
For a bit longer, I’ll slowly walk on.

This hymn was written by John Newton, and published in 1779. This is a song we sing not only during church services, but also during weddings and funerals, and is recognised by both Christians and non-Christians.

I came across this version by Il Divo last night, and as I watched the video, the song touched me in a way it never did before. This is one of the best versions of the song that I’ve come across – the singing was great and the location at which they shot the video was really beautiful as well. But while these things added to my enjoyment of the song, it was the meaningful lyrics that really reached out to me. I’ve sung this many times in church, but somehow the lyrics never struck me this hard before…

Kimi ni Todoke (Reaching You) is one of the series I really enjoy. I’ve read the manga, watch the anime and now the live action as well. I first watched the movie in Japanese, and now that the English subs are out, I’m rewatching it while I’m typing this.

To be honest, today was a tough day to get though. Many things didn’t turn out the way as I had hoped, and things just weren’t right. But there’s no way that I can rewind time and re-live the day, and things that are already done cannot be undone.

There are good days and not-so-good ones, and today happens to fall into the latter category. But tomorrow will soon come, and all that I can do now is to move forward while learning from today’s experiences.