The graduate students in my lab have been marking practical reports recently, since my boss takes the practical sessions for one of the undergrad modules. While I’m not involved in this, I get to hear about the nicely done reports, and the silly things that people write. (It kind of makes me wonder whether I wrote similarly silly stuff back then I was taking the same module.)

Talking about the silly things that come up in the lab report, things like cleaving proteins with restriction enzymes sounds really ridiculous to us now, but if I were to think of how I would have answered the same question when I was a first-year undergrad, I might very well just have wrote the same thing. After all, when you’re an undergrad, there are still things that you don’t know, or never thought too deeply about. And when it comes to writing lab reports, especially for the discussion section, you just write whatever that comes to mind, without realising that sometimes your concept might be totally wrong, particularly when it comes to experiemental stuff, since most people lack that sort of experience.

But that’s not so bad. Someday when these undergrads get more practical experience, they will realise that some of the things they mentioned will never work. What’s really bad is those people who copy and think that they can get away with it!

1. There was this particular undergrad who copied stuff right out of the textbook, and obviously that was caught by YW while she was making the script. It’s fine to turn to textbooks to get answers, but don’t copy off the textbook word for word! Don’t think that the person marking your report won’t notice it. There’s something called plagiarism, and when you do something like that, you have to pay the consequences. Just be thankful that this was noticed in a lab report, and not something major.
2. MH was making her pile of reports just now, and just a few reports in, she noticed that the discussion section of the lab report she was reading was actually the same as that of the previous report! One of the students must have copied off her friends, without bothering to paraphrase everything enough such that the person marking the report wouldn’t noticed that they were essentially the same. Now, if you think you’re so smart to copy off your friend’s report and pass it off as a piece of work done by yourself, then why be so stupid to hand it up almost at the same time as that friend?! Obviously the marker will notice if one of the reports is almost the same as another one that he/she had just marked a couple of minutes ago. And since no one knows who copied from who, both are just going to get 0 marks.
3. And then for those who copy from the seniors… there’s no way to prevent people from doing that, but if you’re going to do something like that, use your brains! If the questions have changed somewhat over the years, and you’re going to write something down without even thinking, then you can be sure that the person marking your report will penalise you without any hesitation.

It kind of sounds like I’m really bitchy, but I have zero tolerance for this sort of thing. Seriously, you are given a brain for a reason, so use it! Do this kind of thing now and you’ll just be penalised in terms of your grades, but do it once you get out into society, and you’ll really suffer once you are caught.

The result of our FYP allocation was released today, and honestly speaking, I’m kind of disappointed that I got my second choice instead of my first. When I first saw the project title that appeared on the screen, I was stunned and had to look at it a few times before my mind registered that I didn’t get my first choice project. It’s not that I hate the second project – I do have interest in it, and there’s a reason why I put that as my second choice after all. It’s just that there are some things that I’m left feeling really puzzled about.

Firstly, the project I placed as my first choice was offered by a lab that I was previously attached to. Based on what we were told during our FYP briefing, any previous lab experience would be considered, if this is the same lab that we are putting as our first choice. So that would apply to me in this case, right? And let’s assume that by “consider”, it means that you will have an advantage over another person without any attachment experience in the same lab.

I had 1 other competition for this project, and from what I’ve heard, the person who was allocated the project was someone who doesn’t have attachment experience in this lab. So, either (1) the whole “consideration” thing is just a lie, (2) the prof rejected me, or (3) there is some error in the system.

Putting that aside, what makes it weirder is that for my second choice project (which I was allocated to), someone else had placed that as their first choice. Thus, there should be no reason as to why that person didn’t get the project, especially when the supervisor said that he will accept anyone that has been allocated to him. So why did I get the project instead? Why wasn’t I given a project that I had ranked as one of my lower choices? I guess the most plausible explanation here would be that the prof increased he number of people that he would take in for that particular project, since he did mention it when I went to meet him. Hopefully that’s the case, because it I was the person who put that project as my first choice, I would be very pissed if I didn’t get the project because it was given to someone who had placed it as their second choice.

Honestly, how does the allocation system work? It was only explained vaguely to us, and I really dislike the fact that the school isn’t completely transparent about the allocation process. They say that unless you have made prior arrangements to reserve a project with an external supervisor, you cannot reserve a project anymore once the list of projects come out. But that’s not the case, because quite a number of people have still managed to reserve projects with external supervisors. If you’re looking for an internal supervisor though, they won’t be able to reserve anything for you.

Fine about the reserving part. They say that allocation would be done based on balloting. But how does that work? Does the supervisor get a say in who they want to accept? Let’s say that 3 people put the same project as their first choice. Does the FYP committee give the names of the 3 people to the supervisor to let him choose? Or does the committee select 1 person first, and then the supervisor can make a choice as to whether he wants to accept this person? If the first situation is that case, then how does having lab experience benefit you if you don’t get priority? If the second example is what they actually do, is it that the other person was allocated to the project over me, or is it that I was rejected?

I have so many questions, yet I don’t have answers to any of them. If they were more transparent about the whole allocation process, at least I wouldn’t have anything to complain about, because everyone will know why they ended up getting a particular project. Xiu Hui says that maybe I can email the FYP coordinator to ask, but I don’t know whether I want to hear any explanations. If my lab experience was taken as a consideration against me, I was certainly be unhappy about that, because it’s very unfair. If balloting was really done randomly, and I didn’t get any advantage over the other person, I would then wonder why we were told that previous lab experience would be taken into consideration. And if it’s because I was rejected, would I be sad? I don’t know, but then I would be wondering why I was rejected. Maybe… maybe it’s better not to get any answers after all.

As for the project I’m allocated to, it’s a co-supervised one, so I’ll be doing it in 2 labs. The prof in charge of the second part is a really nice guy, and his lab people seem nice as well. I’m not really worried about being there. It’s the first part that I’m more concerned about, because I have no idea how the prof and his lab people are like. Hopefully they are friendly and helpful. The second prof’s lab is next to the lab that’s offering the project I placed as my first choice. The offices are connected, so I can still see the people from that lab, and talk to them. I wonder how I will feel when I see the person who was allocated my first choice project. Would I be sad? Would I still feel that it’s unfair?

That’s why I hate leaving things to chance. I hate things that I can’t work for. I hate it when I don’t have the slightest bit of influence over the outcome of things.

Before the allocation results were out, one of those things that I had been praying for was that God would allocate me the project that He felt was the best for me. I said that even if it was not the one I had really wanted, I would learn to accept it. And it really turned out that way… I’m still not at peace with it right now, but with time, I guess I’ll be fine. Perhaps I’m supposed to learn something out of this. Perhaps this project will suit me better that the one that I had placed as my first choice. Perhaps I needed to be pushed out of my comfort zone, because I’m the kind that never comes out of it willingly. It takes a long time for me to adapt to new environments. I’m not too comfortable in a place where I don’t know anyone either. And with this project, I have to meet with people from 2 different labs, which is a even greater challenge for me. After I have adapted to being in one lab, I will have to shift to a second one for the latter part of my project, and restart the whole adapting part all over again. Maybe this is supposed to make me learn to become more comfortable in these situations; who knows?

My thoughts are all over the place right now, and I can’t seem to write down what’s going through my head clearly. I guess I just need a while more for this to settle in… and I’ll be fine after that. How long will it take for this feeling to go away? I guess to some people it’s silly; complaining even though you got your second choice project. It’s just a small matter, so why make a big fuss out of it? But you see, when it comes to things that are related to education, such as choosing schools or subject combinations, I’ve always gotten my first choice. This is something I’ve never experienced before. These concerns and insecurities I have, about being in a new environment, about meeting new people, about the project in general… it’s not something that everyone can understand I guess. I wish that I was the kind of person that can adapt easily to any situation! But unfortunately I’m not. I know that there is at least one person who understands how I feel, and I’m glad about that. Like what I said, when it comes to things like these, we’re really similar.

I guess I’ve more or less gotten everything out of my system right now, and I feel more at peace with this whole thing. Perhaps it was a good thing that the allocation results were released a week earlier that the official date, because I have time to let the surprise and shock sink in without affecting my revision too much. (After seeing the results, I just couldn’t do my revision as I had planned. Sigh.)

I must learn from Jasmine and be more positive about this! There is a reason why I ended up with this project, and I shall start my FYP after the exam with the intention or learning as much as I can from this experience. がんばります！I don’t like to be defeated, so I won’t let things like this get me down as well. I’m still going to give my best, whatever project I’m allocated to.

(Be positive!)

Monday night, and So You Think You Can Dance will be on soon. Having missed the first few episodes, I was determined not to miss the show again this time. A few minutes ago, I went to my room to get a fresh towel, and was ready to take a shower. By the time I’m done, I’ll be just in time for the show, I thought to myself.

When I was inside the room, she asked me, “Are you going to bathe?” When I told her I was, she immediately asked my brother to go and shower first because I will spend a long time in the shower. Like what the?! If he’s home the whole day and he still hasn’t showered, he won’t die if he waits for me to shower first. It’s a matter of principle you know. Since I was already going to the bathroom, of course I should just shower first right? At the very least, she should have asked if it was ok with me to let him go first, and not just tell him to go first without any regard for me.

By her logic, it means that if you’re queuing up at the cashier to pay for something and the person in front of you has a lot of items to pay for, you’re automatically allowed to cut in front of that person because it will take a long time for the cashier to check out all the items. I think we can all imagine the possible scenarios that may occur if someone really does that.

So annoying. Arrgh. What’s wrong with letting people who want to shower first go first?

I was taking the bus home just now, and being the peak hour, the bus got really packed as it picked up more passengers along the way. The fact that it was a single deck bus didn’t help at all. When the bus reached my stop, I had to squeeze my way through to get to the door. Some guy standing in front of the door was blocking me from getting down, and I had to say “excuse me” before he noticed me and moved aside. Just as I tapped my EZlink card on the reader and was about to get off, the bus uncle closed the door! I rang the bell again, trying to catch his attention, but he didn’t open the door. So I rang the bell a second time. And he drove off!

In the end I had to get off at the next bus stop, which is a considerable distance away from mine. Say about the distance of 2 bus stops in NTU. Sigh. I really wasn’t happy at all. Usually when bus drivers close the door before someone gets off, ringing the bell again will let them know that there are people who haven’t alighted, and they will open the door again. I don’t know why this uncle didn’t, even when I rang the bell twice! Even if you think that it might be someone who’s getting off at the next stop and just happened to press the bell early, surely it’s always better to open the door just in case it’s actually someone who has yet to alight. Especially when the bus is so crowded that it takes time to squeeze past all the people standing to get to the door!

I'm so not happy about it.