Vocal Point’s “I’ll Be Missing You” is one of the few performances that brings tears to my eyes. It’s not technically the best, since there are some pitch issues, but that’s really understandable since the lead singer’s father passed away before the performance and this song was sung as a tribute to him.

The song made me think about the people I had lost, especially my grandfather. He passed away while I was still in primary school, and because I was still young then, I don’t have many memories of him. But what I remember was how he would look for me after church to pass me the toys he had bought for me. My parents would always ask him not to go to the expense, but he still bought them anyway. They were the cheaper kind that you could buy at provision shops back then, but I nevertheless liked them because he picked them out for me. I still remember his smile and how happy he was to pass me the toys…

My grandfather’s health had always been fine, and no one would have expected him to leave us so soon. But (assuming that my memory doesn’t fail me here) one day, he fell when he went out to buy bread. He hit his head in the process and was hospitalised. The injury didn’t seem too bad though and his condition was improving, but one day, things suddenly took a turn for the worse. He was admitted into the ICU, and I remember heading down to the hospital with my family, and waiting while my parents went in to visit my grandfather. They wouldn’t let me see him though, since he had tubes stuck into him and they were worried that I would be scared by the sight of it. That was the very last thing I remember before he passed away just like that.

I only saw my grandfather on Sundays, and even then it was just for a short while. But even though we were not close, and didn’t communicate that much, he’s the one I miss the most out of all my grandparents who have passed. There’s just something about the joy he had seeing us, and the warmth that surrounded him and will always stay with me. Most of the toys have since been broken or given away, but I still have 2 small figurines coming from a particular set of toys he gave me that I can’t bear to part with just yet – they’re a reminder of how he loved buying toys for me.

(峯岸みなみ – 私は私 / Minegishi Minami – I am me)

The road I’m walking on now is the one I wished for before.
But I hate the me that becomes worried just from the wind blowing slightly.

The dream I saw back then still shines radiantly.
Without any doubt, I believed in the distant future.

Why are my tears welling up and overflowing?
I know that I’m blessed with happiness.
I won’t be able to walk anymore if I stop now,
So I’ll persist and keep walking.

The friends who started together with me are always walking ahead.
When I can’t see their backs, I think that I’m slow-footed.

The destinations we aim for and our speeds are different,
But there are times when I’m frustrated and irritated that I seem to be losing.

I am me, aren’t I?
I’m alright.
I only said that I want to behave a little like a spoiled child to someone.
Though I’m always laughing and behaving cheerfully,
I’m weak just like everyone else.

Why are my tears welling up and overflowing?
I know that I’m blessed with happiness.
I won’t be able to walk anymore if I stop now,
So I’ll persist and keep walking.

I am me, aren’t I?
No matter who I am…
People live by their own pace.
I’ll definitely find the path that only I can walk on.
For a bit longer, I’ll slowly walk on.

This hymn was written by John Newton, and published in 1779. This is a song we sing not only during church services, but also during weddings and funerals, and is recognised by both Christians and non-Christians.

I came across this version by Il Divo last night, and as I watched the video, the song touched me in a way it never did before. This is one of the best versions of the song that I’ve come across – the singing was great and the location at which they shot the video was really beautiful as well. But while these things added to my enjoyment of the song, it was the meaningful lyrics that really reached out to me. I’ve sung this many times in church, but somehow the lyrics never struck me this hard before…

AKB48 is an all-female Japanese theater/idol group produced by Yasushi Akimoto. Unlike other idol groups in Japan, AKB48 is theater-based and have their own theater in Akihabara (a district in Tokyo) where they perform once every weekday, and more than once on both Saturday and Sunday. The theater is set up on the 8th floor of Don Quijote. The name derives from a shortened, Romanized representation of ‘Akihabara’. AKB48 is divided into three teams: Team A, Team K and Team B. Currently, there are 16 members in Team A, 16 members in Team K, and 16 members in Team B, getting to the total of 48 members in AKB48. (from Wikipedia)

They’re the top female idol group in Japan right now (their latest single has sold over 800K copies and still counting), and they’ll be here next week! They’ve been having overseas concerts quite a fair bit lately, and it’s a nice surprise that Singapore is one of the places they’re coming to. (I wonder if it has anything to do with this?)

The line up (subject to change) is as follows:

TEAM A: 岩佐美咲 Misaki Iwasa, 多田愛佳 Ota Aika, 片山陽加 Katayama Haruka, 仲川遥香 Nakagawa Haruka, 前田亜美 Maeda Ami. TEAM K: 秋元才加 Akimoto Sayaka, 菊地あやか Kikuchi Ayaka, 野中美郷 Nonaka Misato, 宮澤佐江 Miyazawa Sae. TEAM B: 河西智美 Kasai Tomomi, 小林香菜 Kobayashi Kana, 小森美果 Komori Mika, 佐藤亜美菜 Sato Amina, 佐藤夏希 Sato Natsuki, 鈴木まりや Suzuki Mariya, 渡辺麻友 Watanabe Mayu .

There seems to be more interest in K-pop than J-pop right now, and I wonder how many people know about them here, but I hope that they do manage to sell most of the tickets for their concert. They’ll be back on the 10th and 11th Dec for the STCC, but the line up and other details for the event have yet to be released.

More information: AFA site / AKB48 official site / ticketing

ファンレター Fan Letter
From AKB48 Team K 5th Stage “Saka Agari”

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3 years have passed since we first met.
What kind of me is reflected in your eyes?

How much nearer have I come to reaching that dream I spoke of one day?

No matter when, you smiled and watched over me silently.
No matter when, you came walking under the sunlight filtering under the trees,
And enveloped me in gentleness.

In the frustration, loneliness and sadness that I can’t show others,
I feel down and wish for help.
The little self-confidence I had was broken.

I gave up, thinking that it’s impossible.
Right then, I received your fan letter.

While listening to your voice,
I came this far without getting lost.
You voice is like the light from the distant lighthouse.
Shining on me day after day, it showed me how to live…

It’s a long and difficult journey that leads to my dream.
You always wiped away today’s tears and said “be courageous”…

No matter when, you smiled and watched over me silently.
No matter when, you came walking under the sunlight filtering under the trees,
And enveloped me in gentleness.

That’s why there is a now.

The fact that I can be here today is because of the people that have been supporting me all this while. Thank you for watching over me, for the listening ears, for the shoulders I’ve leaned on, for accepting me despite my insufficiencies. It’s all these that kept me going on even during the times I felt like running away or giving up.

I’m really blessed to have met such wonderful people at each stage of my life. A new stage is about to begin, and deep in my heart I feel worried and scared. I try to take my mind off it, but the fact is that when night falls and things quieten down, these feelings come back to haunt me again. It’s a long and difficult journey ahead, and I can’t see where it will eventually lead me to yet. This is a really selfish request, but if I feel that I can’t go on anymore, please continue to lend me your ears and your shoulders. Please give me the courage that I need to take each step ahead of me, and a safe haven to come back to when I feel defeated.

4 years later, when I look back at this day, I hope that I’ve come nearer in reaching my dreams. I hope that I’ve grown to become a stronger and wiser person. I hope to say that despite the journey being tough, I’m glad I made it through just fine. And when I look back, I hope that my heart will be filled with this warmth as it is when I’m typing this out now, knowing that I was never walking alone.

頑張ります。