It’s the end of the year once again… to be honest, I’ve been too unmotivated to write anything lately, but writing my end-of-year reflections on this blog has been something that I’ve done for the past few years, and I don’t want to stop that tradition now, hence I’m making myself write.

2009 was a year full of changes, and it’s no different this year as well. From starting my PhD to setting a date for my wedding and many other smaller things as well… there are many new things that happened this year. As I’ve said many times before, I’m not very good at handling changes, and it took me some time to adapt after some of these events, but I hope that I’ve become better at accepting changes, even if it’s just a little bit.

Last Sunday was the last service I had in church, and as per my church’s tradition, a few people were asked to go up on stage to share about their year. As I listened to their sharing from where I was seated, my heart felt full, and I was reminded of the many things that I had been blessed with, and the many things I could give thanks for.

The youths did a personality quiz as part of their programme today, and us teachers joined in as well. I’m not sure where they got the quiz from, but when I saw my result, I thought it didn’t seem to describe me that well. Here’s the description:

You are fresh, lively, charming, amusing, practical, and always interesting; constantly in the center of attention, but sufficiently well-balanced not to let it go to their head. You are also kind, considerate, and understanding; always cheer people up and help them out.

I don’t think I’m fresh, lively, charming or amusing, and certainly not constantly in the center of attention. In fact, I think I prefer being in the background. And you know, I’m really bad when it comes to cheering people up.

I thought this one suited me more, minus a few parts:

You are sensible, cautious, careful and practical. You are also clever, gifted, or talented, but modest. You don’t make friends too quickly or easily, but will be extremely loyal to friends you do make and who expect the same loyalty in return. It takes a lot to shake your trust in your friends, but equally that it takes you a long time to get over it if that trust is ever broken.

Maybe there are some things about myself that I’m not seeing, so for those who know me, which description suits me more?

We’re just hours away from the new year, but somehow it doesn’t quite feel like it to me. For me, the last day of the year is usually associated with having to get ready to go back to school, despite not wanting the holidays to end yet. Of course, this is not the case this time round, which is probably why today feels like a normal day to me.

Most people left around noon today, but because I had to do plasmid extraction, restriction digestion and run a gel, I stayed till around 2. I was expecting to be the last one to leave the lab, but it so happened that Patricia and Priscilla were clearing their stuff and eating ice cream (I got one too!) after they were done with their midiprep, so I left together with them. I would probably be feeling really lonely if they had left earlier. In fact, that was what I was feeling when I went upstairs to run my gel at 1+ pm. Sabna and Yen Hoon had left, and I saw 2 of the guys going off somewhere. There was no one else in the lab when I went in, and I don’t think there was anyone else in the office either. The fourth floor was really quiet, and as I was loading the gel, I had this urge to call someone, just to hear a familiar voice. I didn’t do so in the end, as I didn’t know who to call. Managed to finish up soon and I got some results, so that was good. I don’t really like doing stuff on the fourth floor at night or during the eve of holidays, because there’s hardly a soul around. I like quiet places, but that’s too quiet for me! At least on the third floor there are more labs, so there are usually people around even after working hours.

Anyway… the last day of the year is always a time for me to look back on the year, and think of how it’s been. This year has been one where a lot of friends weren’t around because they were on exchange, or had gone overseas to study. In the later half of the year, when I was on attachment and when I started my FYP, I had to get used to being in a new environment, without knowing anyone. I’m so thankful that I met Jasmine and Adrian during my attachment, because I really don’t know how I would have gotten through it if they weren’t there. Han Fang and Denise as well, though I spent comparatively less time with them.

As for FYP, I’m glad that Nicholas is there, and I’m not the only student in the lab. I’m glad that Patricia, Priscilla and Jasmine (not the same as the one from the attachment) are there as well, because I usually as them for help if there’s something I’m unsure of. Too bad today’s their last day (they’re attachment students), but I’ll still see them around from time to time. I’m thankful to have Sabna teaching me in the lab upstairs, and for Yen Hoon to be around as well. And of course Eugenia! I’m so glad that she happened to be on attachment in the lab upstairs, and I had someone to disturb when I’m free. Also thanks to Yvonne who taught me how to do cell culture. I’ll have to bother her more once I’ve finished the part I’m doing upstairs.

In church, this is the second year that I’m teaching the same class, and the familiarity I had with them really helped. I taught together with Ling Hao this year, and though I didn’t know who he was before serving together, I really enjoyed having him as my partner. I’m so thankful for my trusty partner who has helped me out when I needed it!

This is the year that I transited from year 3 to year 4. Being in my final year now, I’ve been thinking more about the future, and sometimes I feel quite uncertain about what happens after graduation. As graduation draws nearer, it really makes me feel that I have to treasure what little time I have left as a student. To treasure the time I have with my friends, both new and old, because our lives are just doing to get busier from now on, and it’ll be more difficult to meet up. Friends from secondary school, JC, uni, church etc… there are too many names to mention, but you should know who you are. I’m glad that I’ve met each and every one of you, and let’s meet up whenever we have time!

Most importantly, thank God for guiding me through the year!

In 2009, I really hope to give my best as I follow my Sunday school class up to sec 3. I’ll be partnering Wei Jie, and I hope to learn from him! It’s going to be tiring managing FYP (and later work) with having to prepare for lessons, but I really hope that I can manage fine and prepare in advance for my lessons.

Hopefully I can learn to worry less and be more optimistic as well. It gets frustrating when experiments don’t work the way you want them to, and you have to keep repeating them. I tend to get anxious when that happens, and it really just makes things worse. I really want to stay optimistic and keep trying even if things don’t seem to be going smoothly.

As for getting a job, let’s think about that a bit later. I wonder if I’ll be able to secure a job before I graduate…

2009 will be a busy year with lots of changes, but I hope that it’ll turn out to be a good one!

Today Mao passed me her database of worship songs so that can prepare the PowerPoint slides for worship every week. She’ll be leaving from next week onwards, so she passed on her duty of preparing the slides to me. She won’t be teaching next year as well.

I was just thinking…

I remember getting to know her back when the both of us were still in secondary school. As for when it was exactly, I don’t remember. Probably during fellowship, since that was the time when I got to know more people. At that time, I wondered if it was ok to call her Mao (as in 猫)… somehow it seemed weird for me to call her that even though a lot of people did so? But I’m so used to calling her that now, rather than by her real name. I think I was once told of how that nickname came about, but I honestly can’t remember!

Later on we served together in the committee. After we “graduated” from fellowship we served together again, but this time round in Youth Sunday School. We’ve never been particularly close, but for some reason, even back then, she has always felt like an elder sister to me. I can’t explain why, but she’s just one of those people who matter to me. It’ll feel weird not seeing her around next year.

The same can be said for a lot of the brothers and sisters in church. Especially the few that have served together with me and watch me grow up. In their own way, they’ve been caring for me and guiding me along, and I’m really thankful for them. Things would be so different without them. As we grow up, I don’t see some of them that often anymore. Most are serving in different ministries, and some are now in other churches. But no matter what, these people will always be special to me. I’m lucky to have these elder brothers and sisters in church, and I really hope that one day, I can be that kind of person to the younger ones as well.